Third time's the charm
by Aqua Mage
Summary: Dying really takes it out of a man. Doing it three times in two days even takes it out of Jack.


This is just another 'team-caring-for-a-sick-Jack' oneshot. It's not  
been edited properly, as usual, so sorry for any mistakes.

Title: Third time's the charm  
Spoilers: Not really. Set mid-way into the second series.

Warnings: Swearing and blood. It's no worse than the show itself, though.  
Summary: Dieing really takes it out of a man. Doing it three times  
in two days even takes it out of Jack.

* * *

"What the hell are you doing here?" Owen's voice echoed round the hub as he stood in the doorway to Jack's office, hands on hips. Looking up at him from behind his desk, Jack was strongly reminded of Rose when she was in what the Doctor had called one of her 'Jaqui' moods. He decided not to share the observation, instead just raising an eyebrow.

" It is _my_ office."

"I _told _you not to come in today."

"Did you?"

"You bloody well know I did!"

"And where exactly would you have me go? I _live _here."

From the lack of reply, Jack figured that the other man had forgotten this fact. After a minute, Owen sighed.

"Well, you should have stayed in bed, at least."

"Why? I'm fine."

Owen rolled his eyes. "You died twice yesterday, Jack. Once from blood loss, and once from poison. You may be alive, but you're still pretty weak."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, and I'm a baboon's arse. Doctor here, remember?"

"Immortal here, remember? Come on, what does it matter? The worst it can do is kill me."

"It matters because I don't want you prancing around Cardiff having hallucinations because you're delirious."

"I am not delirious."

"Yet. Carry on like this and you will be."

"Well, maybe I'll prance naked, give you all a treat. Now scram, I'm working. Unless you don't want your next pay cheque to come through?"

"If you put us in danger because you're not 100, I'll shoot you again."

"Duly noted."

--

"He looks ill." Gwen murmured as she stared across the hub towards the room where Jack still sat, diligently filling in paperwork. Owen grunted.

"He had all the blood drained out of him and then he was poisoned. What did you expect?" His tone betrayed his frustration.

Tosh joined in the conversation. "Won't he rest?"

"No. Stubborn bastard. Says he's fine."

"Can't you overrule him? I mean, it _**is **_a medical matter, and you're Torchwood's doctor…" Gwen trailed off, looking hopeful.

Owen snorted. "Yeah, right. And then what? Jack doesn't exactly do great with following orders."

"Oh, I don't know." Ianto had joined them, unnoticed. "He's always seemed pretty good at it to me."

Owen made a face. "I did not need that mental image, Jones."

Ianto coloured slightly. "I meant with the whole military thing."

"Of course you did."

--

"Rift activity in an alley off Caroline Street." Tosh tapped a few keys, then added. "It's a weevil. No, hang on, two weevils." Her eyes widened. "Three, four, five…they must have been together."

"Really? You think?" Owen rolled his eyes as they all leapt into action. One weevil normally took at least two of them, but five…he made sure to pack his largest first aid kit. As Jack emerged from his office, coat sweeping, he frowned.

"You shouldn't go." But he knew that they'd need him.

--

"Shit shit shit shit shit…" Gwen cursed as she tore round a corner, four weevils on her tail. At her side, Owen found time to roll his eyes. "Can't you think of another word?"

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…."

"Wonderful. Thanks for that."

--

The weevils were nearly upon them by the time they found the others. Or were found by the others, to be more accurate. As Gwen and Owen collapsed, gasping for breath, Jack and Tosh stepped in front of them, cans of anti-weevil spray in each hand. The two foremost weevils howled in pain and fell to their knees, whining and clawing at their faces, but the other two continued towards them, snarling.

Swearing, Jack pulled out his pistol, getting off two shots in quick succession. One weevil fell dead with a neat hole in it's forehead, but the other had moved at the last moment, and the bullet to the shoulder just made it more angry. Growling, it threw itself towards Tosh, teeth and claws bared, but missed it's target as Jack hurled himself into it, sending them both to the ground. The weevil was on him in seconds, ripping and tearing, savage with rage and pain.

The others stared for a moment, shocked before springing into action, drawing their guns and hurrying towards the fight, unable to get a clear shot at the weevil without risking hitting Jack. As they hesitated, several shots rang out from behind them, and the weevil howled and thrashed, before falling still. Hurrying up to the others, Ianto poked the dead weevil with his foot before kicking it off Jack.

"I think you hit Jack." Tosh said.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Can't have been worse than being torn apart by a weevil."

They all winced at the sight of their obviously dead boss. Owen sighed. "That's three times in two days. I told him he shouldn't have come."

Gwen shook her head. "If he hadn't, we'd all be dead. At least he comes back."

Ianto looked around. "We'd better get the weevils into the truck before someone comes. Jack too."

The others nodded, and started to move. "What about the other one?" Gwen asked. "Did you get it?"

He nodded. "I was just putting it in the truck. Didn't realise I was missing all the fun here, or I'd have come sooner."

--

Jack gasped his way back to life just before they reached the Hub, eyes snapping open. "Easy, easy." Owen pushed him back into his seat, setting about taking his vitals. Jack swatted him away, ignoring the swearing.

"Did we get them all?"

"Yes, thank you Mr Hero. Now would you bloody well lie still and let me get on with making sure you're still in one piece?" Owen forced his way to Jack's wrist, taking his pulse at the same time as feeling his temperature.

"You're bloody freezing. Like a block of ice with legs. Ianto, would you-? Thanks." Owen took the blanket that Ianto passed him and bundled his boss into it, ignoring all protests.

"Owen, I'm fine. It's just the blood loss. Exsanguination always gives me chills for a while, it'll pass."

"You have no idea how disturbing it is that you know that."

Jack winked. "You should see what happens if I die from sexual exhaustion…"

--

"Oh no. Not a chance in hell, Harkness." Jack paused in his journey to his office.

"Problem, Owen?"

"Yes there is a bloody problem! I'm the doctor here, and I say bed rest, now, or I'll report you to London for disobeying medical orders."

Jack raised a playful eyebrow. "Oh you will, will you?"

Gwen answered before Owen could. "If he doesn't, I will, Jack. You look terrible. You need to rest. You may be immortal, but you still need to take care of yourself."

Tosh nodded in agreement. Ianto was silent, simply stepping up to Jack's side and relieving him of his shredded coat. A hand lingering on his shoulder and a brief flicker of eye contact was enough to show the other man that he agreed with his teammates.

Jack flung his hands up with a frustrated sigh. "I'm fine! It's just…woah…" He put a hand to his head as the world spun about him, his other hand groping blindly for support. Ianto slipped under his shoulder, keeping him upright as he swayed.

"Yeah, you're just peachy." Owen went to his other shoulder, glancing across at Ianto. "Does he have a bed around here?" He managed to resist a comment on how he should know.

Ianto just nodded. "But it's awkward to get to. We'd be better off taking him to the guest rooms."

"We have guest rooms?"

"Well, it sounds better than 'cupboard with a cot in it."

"True."

--

Ignoring the increasingly weak protests, they made short work of getting Jack settled in the 'guest room'. Despite his complaints, he couldn't prevent a sigh of relief escaping as his body sank onto the cool sheets.

Tosh frowned. "We'll have to take it in turns to sit with him. There's not enough room to swing a mouse in here, let alone a cat."

Jack groaned from the bed. "No! You don't have to-"

"We want to, Jack." Gwen interrupted. "You're always looking after us. Let us have a go, for a change."

He stared up at them, meeting solemn but determined faces, and sighed in resignation. Closing his eyes, he let himself slip into a light healing trance. The last thing he heard was an fierce argument over who got to stay first. He fell asleep with a smile on his lips.

FINIS

* * *

Well, hope someone liked it! Reviews would be much loved!!


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